Red Letter Day!

So I am so ashamed...

Here I was rambling and going on and on but today is my son's birthday. He is officially 1 year old! Was not thinking too much last year, but when we scheduled his delivery, it did not occur to me that Feb. 29th was probably not a good idea. Though apparently a lot of people did try to have their babies on that particular day!

I can not believe that it has been year! Here's to another year and I hope that it is not as blurry or sleep deprived as the first!

On Call AGAIN!!!

Whoever said a woman's job is ever done... it is never done
which is probably the correct saying. My husband kids me for never getting the sayings/... (I can't even remember the correct phrase ) right.

I think that it is really hard to be a woman these days... and a professional woman at that. Trying to balance a career and family is very difficult. I was speaking with a friend the other day and realized finally that all this pent up rage was finally coming out. Of course, I then realized that it is easier to speak than to write it all down like in this type of forum.... Does it ever end? I go to work. I come home and make dinner, give the kids a bath (if it is not too late) read them a story and then try to get some of my own work done. By this time, it is almost 10pm, if I am lucky. I can't figure out which is better... Wake up early and get some work done or go to bed late and get some work done. Again I realized that both options suck and sleep is so much the better option. I tried last week to do the early thing. Lasted 3 days before I was a walking ZOMBIE!!! Not enough sleep and how can one work well with a lack of sleep? If someone can come up with a better solution, please let me know?

I was very depressed after this.. realizing that professional careers and the men that are out there have not changed very much and in some fields, are still very arcane. I am still trying to bend my mind around this one.

Oh well.... again, pictures like the one from the tubby, is what helps me motor along... LOL

Can't Fight that Lovin' Feeling...

Who can argue with that... Remember when life gives you stones...

Well, I don't remember but These are some of my FAVORITE things!!!!!

No Pork or special interest or earmarks???

Better watch out that one words don't bite one the proverbial A--... One doesn't want to trip over one's words and have to take it all back...

Remember the wagging finger of Bill... admonishing us of the definition of the what the word "is" is and sexual relations

Some employees are simply irreplaceable.

Take Michelle Obama: The University of Chicago Medical center hired her in 2002 to run "programs for community relations, neighborhood outreach, volunteer recruitment, staff diversity and minority contracting."

In 2005 the hospital raised her salary from $120,000 to $317,000 - nearly twice what her husband made as a Senator.

Oh did we mention that her husband had just become a US Senator?

He sure had. Requested a $1 Million earmark for the UC Medical Center, in fact. Way to network Michelle!

But now that Mrs. Obama has resigned, the hospital says her position will remain unfilled. How can that be, if the work she did was vital enough to be worth $317,000?

We can think of only one explanation: Senator Roland Burris's wife wasn't interested.

---The Editors of National Review, writing in the Magazine's Feb 9 issue.

3 nights now in a row of sleeping...

Victory???

Perhaps we have achieved a break through? Last night we placed the baby in his own room and used monitors. We did not get much sleep in anticipation of a sleepless, screaming, unhappy, angry night. But with a few exceptions (crying/screaming jags), my little guy slept in his crib through the night.

BTW, I was no longer used to sleeping next to my husband... sad commentary...

We did go to the pediatrician just to make sure he did not have something else besides 4 teeth sprouting through his gums... clean bill of health. Ears looked good, chest/lungs sounded clear and regular and no lymphadenopathy...

Perhaps we have achieved a breakthrough. Now we just need one for me...

Still crazy after all these nights

So we are going to the pediatrician's office today...
I broke down and called after another bad night. It has been almost 2 weeks of hell and it might not be the teeth. I thought as much but I did not want to seem like the hysterical parent which they still seem to make you feel. Did you know that Orajel caused serious side effects???
I wonder what they are? The nurse stated that it is not recommended and in fact just a little of Tylenol or Motrin should do the trick with some cold washcloth or teething ring... well, I told my husband this and we both laughed...
What do you do when after you give him the tylenol and /or motrin and he doesn't want the teething ring or washcloth and just stares at you screaming... Maybe that Orajel isn't such a bad idea particularly at 2 in the morning and at 3 and at 4 and at 5... Though we have never loaded up on medications every hour.

I can say honestly that last week was a blur. I can't really remember it and I feel like I am still catching up on sleep. I think that driving to work would have been a joke today. I am not sure but I would have been a danger to everyone around me as well. I still not sure how everyone else who is parent does it.

And I still love the little bugger...

Thought for the Day

Still working after a night of no sleep

So....
Is there any end in sight to the teething and the crying and the pain...
I honestly don't know how other parents do it. I am a walking zombie and I can't believe that I drove myself 20 miles northwest of the city to be on call again!
I had to stop at Starbucks and get my usual (grande nonfat 2 pump peppermint mocha with whip) It sounds so like those that I did not want to be like with the soy and the skinny and the extra water drink orderer types... but I did discover that 4 shots of peppermint juice is a little tooo sweet.

Can I make it through this year... I hope so. I envy Angelina who is apparently trying to have another baby. Sometimes I wish that I had enough money to take care of my brood so that finance is not an issue or a job that enabled me to do so. I am not sure how she does it. My guess, lots of money, lots of help, and lots of space and time. The OB is not doing her any favors. Have you seen how skinny she has become? Osteoporosis here we come...

Well, another day, another dollar and we will see what the rest of the day brings...

More violence, more police shootings, more sleepless nights

Funeral for the fallen police officer is today. I am glad that my husband is not a cop. It is very selfish but in these days, society has no respect for human life...

Vaccinate a Child, support Unicef

Buy some diapers or wipes from Pampers and vaccinate a child...



A GOOD IDEA, (though not promoting the brand per se)

Or how about this one???

Try this one on for size...

On Call again

Had another bad night... This time it was truly laughable as I got no sleep... I think that I started to laugh at 4:30AM when I looked at the clock and saw that in a hour and a half I would have to get up and Max was still screaming. Still screaming... and Q is kicking me in the face... though are these faces that you would like to throttle??? (Maybe once in awhile, just kidding)

Now I am on call for the next 24 hours. Already had a productive day...
1. performed a c/s for breech
2. evaluated one in PTL
3. will be doing a SVD soon

How is that for productive!?!?! And it is only 10AM! WHOA!

Dangerous Place to Live: Philadelphia

Another policeman has been shot and killed, He was only 25 and just newly married (Oct 08) and his new bride is expecting. I pray for his wife and his unborn child who will now never know his dad. I think often something similar as I drive Lincoln and Kelly Drives. These roads are extremely curvy and people drive them like they are Nascar drivers (i know a few of those people). I think of what would happen if I died and my sons never saw me again and I never saw them again. I guess, at least, I got to see them. This officer will never know. That is 7 police killed in the line of duty in less than 3 years. We have only been here for 18months and we have been present for more funeral processions than I would have liked to have been. My husband wanted to be a cop. He even tried and was rejected by the Chicago PD. Thank GOD! They thought he was too honest... kicked him out because he admitted to some drug use over 20 years ago. Over 20 years ago... during his college years. Can you tell me what person has not experiemented (especially those who were born in the 60s?). It was very hypocritical. We were even told in a Lamaze class by 2 in the CPD to lie about personal history. I think it was a sign anyway. I have seen too many Law & Order episodes and think of too many conspiracies and cops setting up cops who do not follow the pack, the establishment.

Still in the end, Philadelphia is dangerous and I thought that Chicago was worse. I don't think that in the 7 years that I was there, there was 1 cop killing. Certainly, people tried but was not successful.

Post Valentine's Day

I have always wondered about Valentine's Day...
I don't like chocolates and not very partial to flowers or jewelry but I do like the concept of getting something.
My husband isn't very good about these type of things/days. He used to do "something" on this day but the one of the last times was when we were living in separate cities. He had sent me 2 dozen roses. I had surprised him and came to visit him and then was able to finagle staying for longer. By the time, I got back, the flowers were sadly dead and droopy. He now refers to that as giving me dead flowers which is really funny. But I guess I still would have liked something...
Here's hoping against hope... maybe when the boys get older???

Okay, Okay...

The Talking Dog

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign infront of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retrieversitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says, "So,what's your story?

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I waspretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping." "I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. "I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him socheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit."

Another bad night

Last night was truly a test...
I can not believe that I was up watching reruns of Lou Dobbs and Anderson Cooper. But my youngest son had other plans. It has been really hard with him. He is much more sensitive and more finicky child. It is hard whether I can tell when one thing started and ended. Like his reflux. I think that it is finally over but he still cries incessantly and without stopping. I think it is his teeth. Of course he has to have 4 coming in at once. I finally decided to put on orajel on his gums at 5AM. Tylenol and Motrin did not help. And of course he has to have a hacking cough... So which is it, the teeth or the cold.

I have to say that when someone told me that the first couple of years would be hazy, I really did not believe them. But I can not believe that Max will be one this month and last year seems to me so blurry and I can't believe that it is almost over.

Runnin' on empty

I sometimes wonder why we are in a rat race as I sit here breast pumping and writing this blog (UGHHH) but am about to go to the OR for a case. One keeps going and going. Is it all right to get off the train. It must be otherwise, when you do get off you realize that life has passed you by.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

As I sit in front of my computer in a daze since I got very little sleep last night...

Why is it that last night was the night that my husband decides that my objections to facebooking and watching our sons are unacceptable, my son decides that he can't sleep and cries all night and all is sick with a dry, hacking cough?

Why is asking an innocent question taken as a criticism and if there is nothing to hide, then why all the defensive posturing?

I have made up a new word... facebooking

try this link to get away and listen to Rhapsody in blue... http://rfayan.googlepages.com/uumusicservice5607

Question

Why is it that when one desires the most, it is the hardest to obtain?

Immediate post call musings

Good Morning...
I never sleep well on call at the hospital. The bed at the hospital is not a real bed. I am not sure what it is... Definitely not a mattress. It doesn't seem like an air mattress. It has the feel of something like that. One would think that the institution could spring for a mattress though. This can not be good for the back. I think that I will peek underneath the sheets adn look at the blue thing that one calls a bed.

Being on call is hard. I feel like a cat... always alert for the mouse, ready to pounce, never relaxed. I will probably need to go to sleep for a long time at home. Sleep is an underrated thing. Maybe it more of the fact that the there is a breeze going across my face as I try to sleep lending a particular cold room while I try to sleep...

St. Judy's Comet by Paul Simon

I love this song when I start to miss my boys on call...

Oo, little sleepy boy

Do you know what time it is?

Well the hour of your bedtime's long been past

And though I know you're fighting it

I can tell when you rub your eyes

You're fading fast, oh fading fast

Won't you run come see St. Judy's Comet

Roll across the skies

And leave a spray of diamonds in its wake

I long to see St. Judy's Comet

Sparkle in your eyes when you awake

Oh, when you wake, wake

Little boy

Won't you lay your body down

Little boy

Won't you close your weary eyes

Ain't nothing flashing but the fireflies

Well I sang it once and I sang it twice

I'm going to sing it three times more

I'm going to stay 'til your resistance

Is overcome

'Cause if I can't sing my boy to sleep

Well it makes your famous daddy look so dumb

look so dumb

Won't you run come see St. Judy's Comet

Roll across the skies

And leave a spray of diamonds in its wake

I long to see St. Judy's Comet

Sparkle in your eyes when you awake

Oh, when you wake, wake

Little boy, little boy

Won't you lay your body down

Little boy, little boy

Won't you close your weary eyes

Ain't nothing flashing but the fireflies

Oo, little sleepy boy

Do you know what time it is?

Well the hour of your bedtime's long been past

And though I know you're fighting it

I can tell when you rub your eyes

You're fading fast, oh fading fast

On Call

When I am on call at the hospital and waiting for the pager to go off, I feel that I am justified to not do any work. I mean, not reading any scientific journals or catching up on my past reading or studying for my exams or writing my papers. I feel that I am working, right? I am "waiting" to be called, waiting to jump at someone's "beck and call". But what a waste of time. As I sit and wait, I oculd be doing all those things that would be so helpful. Those things that looking back would take up time on another day.

I had just wished the other day that I had more time. How ironic, ehhh? I don't really wish for more time in the day anymore. Since, why I wished it was so that I could get more work done not sleep or get a massage or exercise but to do more work!